Cherryhole and Asshole

Jesus – here we go again. The John Terry stuff was brutal but the Cheryl and Ashley drama looks like it could drag on for even longer because there will be a divorce for us all to go through. JT must be loving it right enough. I must admit though, I was surprised when I [...]

coldplay

Do i have to? F R O

R.I.P Candi Staton

It’s all over the radio. Candi Staton has been murdered. Police are looking for a very ugly GINGER FREAK, and a machine. The following picture of the GINGER FREAK has been released in connection. Police are unsure if the machine in the picture is the one in question. There are rumours that the GINGER FREAK [...]

Lady DaDa

The papers and internet may be rife with rumours that the self-proclaimed ‘Lady’ GaGa is actually more of a Blokey GaGa. One Vegas bookie is apparently taken bets at 9/4 that she is an intersexer, and there is doubt surrounding certain lyrics like ‘bluffin with my muffin’ in the song poker face (which could itself [...]

Lest we forget

I doubt i have much chance to forget really because it gets rammed down my throat every year for about 3 months. There are varying degrees of debate about what Kipling actually meant when he produced this, oh so famous, line in the poem, as there are with most poems from this era because the [...]

Florence and the machine

75% of all listeners on radio 1 just voted to hear Florence and the machine covering Beyonce (Halo) in the live lounge. I can now reveal that at least 75% of radio 1 listeners are complete and utter imbeciles although it’s likely that this figure is actually higher. I can only imagine that the machine [...]

Marlon King

All i’ve had for 2 days now is how Marlon King should never be allowed to play football again because he’s a bad example for all the kids…….. because he pinched a girls ass. He also maybe slapped her a bit but i didn’t see it. However i’ve never heard anyone saying that Beth Fucking [...]

Chuggers

Chuggers – a conflation of charity and mugger for those not in the know – seem to be on the rise. I passed a chugger gaggle today on the way into work having a group hug (wonder if they call it a group chug?) and overheard their ‘leader’ saying “How much per day i £5 [...]

The current top 10

Obviously new people who can FRO come and go – and there will be occasion to give some monthly gongs, and even to update some FRO candidates to legendary hall of fame status – but these lot will take some shifting: 1 Thatcher (the evil old witch seems determined to outlive me but i’m clinging [...]

No fucking deal

Deal or No Deal – No fucking deal. I’d love to get on it and just take the very first offer from the wanker. (That isn’t me cleverly replacing banker for wanker by the way) Of all the shite game shows out there, and god knows there are a lot, this has to be the [...]